A healing retreat is designed to facilitate a positive space to start to transform yourself and your life.
5 Healthy Ways to Heal from a Relationship Breakup
5 Healthy Ways to Heal from a Relationship Break Up
Breakups in relationships are one of the most normal, yet often under appreciated, painful experiences in our lives. Because breakups are so common, most people talk about them openly and sympathise with one another. On the other side, because breakups are so common, people tend to underestimate how truly devastating and damaging a breakup can be for a person.
No matter why you broke up, your feelings are real, and working through them is a journey in and of itself. When you break up with someone, you lose a big part of your life, whether they are a friend, a lover, someone you can talk to, and maybe even a roommate.
Even if a relationship ends on good terms, there is still an emotional cost. It’s the end of something we may have hoped would last forever and was built on mutual love. After a breakup, there’s still a feeling of being rejected, something deep that says we can’t be together like we were. That would hurt the pride of anyone. When a breakup comes out of the blue or happens quickly, it can hurt even more. Breaking someone’s self-esteem, putting an end to their plans and hopes, or being reminded of a time when they felt rejected or failed can all be devastating.
Self-care is really important after a breakup, since the emotional pain is so bad and healing happens in stages, it can often be relevant to the famous Kubler-Ross stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance.
The good news is that most people do heal, even if it takes time and mental effort. Everyone deals with grief in their own way, and they should do what makes them feel better.
However, many people find that the following steps help:
- Give yourself time to grieve and let it all out in a safe space
Especially right after a breakup, it’s probably best not to hold back or try to hide your feelings. But sometimes the feelings are so strong that they shouldn’t be shown in public. Take a break, go somewhere private, and cry it out. Scream it. Let it all out. It’s not weird. It’s a natural part of the process. It’s okay to feel sad one day, angry the next, in denial the next, and sad again the day after that….maybe all in one hour!
Getting your feelings out is an important part of getting better. One way to do this is to keep a journal, which lets you write down and describe the thoughts and feelings that are going through your head. Writing in a journal doesn’t have to be done every day for it to help. Even once or twice a week will help the healing process.
2. Make Self – Care is your Top Priority
Now is a good time to do some self-care things yourself that you might not have done for yourself at other times. Clean out your closet and get some new items and accessories, or makeup. Get a haircut or treatment, but maybe wait on making any major hairstyle changes until you’ve had sometime process, because sometimes we make hasty decisions after a breakup that we may regret, like cutting your hair short or changing the colour dramatically. Instead, do simple things that make you feel good, eat a little chocolate., get a massage, read a good book. Anything that makes you feel like a good person who deserves comfort and self respect.
Now is also a good time to stick to your regular schedule, even though it’s tempting to throw it out the window and curl up in a ball on the sofa. Stay as close as you can to your normal schedule for eating and sleeping, and going to the gym or yoga to move through any extra energy, anger or grief, you may be feeling. Even if it’s hard to do at first, just going through the motions will help you get better faster. A good thing to remember is that a positive way to deal with intense ’emotions’ is to put that ‘energy into motion’ in a positive way. Go for a walk, go surfing, go to a kick boxing class. As you move, become mindful of how the emotion transforms through the movement.
3. Detach….and Really Let Go
You might have said you’d stay friends, which is something many people do. Keeping the link helps keep things civil and makes the change less of a shock. Even if you do it for practical reasons, like when you work together, it can be hard.
One of the hardest things to deal with after a breakup is a confusing “on-again, off-again” relationship that almost always makes the heartache worse. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tie up loose ends or talk to an ex about important unanswered questions and issues, or that you can never get back together. But after a breakup, you should try not to talk to that person as much as possible. It’s like going through drug detox: you have to go through withdrawal, which is hard, but it’s the only way to move on and get better. Detaching and distancing is tough, but crucial in healing from a relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, you can’t help but share your hopes and dreams and make plans for the future together. This is one reason why after a breakup we often feel stuck and lost. We can no longer have the shared future with that person we once hoped for. If we don’t acknowledge that we need to have something new to look forward to in our lives, we could end up giving the person we are detaching from too much value, which makes it that much harder to move on.
The best thing to do is to take charge of our own goals and life path again. We can change the vision of our future to one that gets us really excited. The more we can look forwards and accept that new vision of life without the person, the more we know we are healing.
Creating this new vision of life for yourself, may mean re-introducing yourself….to yourself! Being in a significant relationship does have an affect in shaping who we are, whether we want to accept that or not., so when they end, it can shake us to the core. Our sense of self can get entwined with our partner and the relationship. This can make us feel like we’ve lost ourselves and don’t know who we are when the relationship ends. One important step in healing and moving on is to think about who we are now that we are no longer in the role in relation to that person’s influence. This is why it is so healing to do things that help us get back in touch with ourselves by rediscovering the things we love and exploring new things we would like to do.
Even though getting back out into life can feel scary after a breakup, it is very healing to be social again when you feel ready. On average, it takes people three to six months to feel ready. A comfortable way to do this is to spend time with friends that make you feel good, or find a new social circle that is in a safe and healthy space like a yoga or retreat centre.
5. Travel is Good for Emotional Healing
Sometimes we need to get out of our normal environment to shake off an old relationship and see new horizons emotionally and physically. You can heal your body and mind by going on a trip, especially one that is relaxing. You cut down on the amount of adrenaline in your body (our stress hormone). This helps you heal and put your pieces back together. This is one of the main reasons why Goddess Retreats was created. If our bodies are healthy and our mind is engaged in new inspiring activities, it’s easier to deal with our feelings. When we are starting a new chapter in life, getting away from your normal day-to-day gives you a fresh perspective. Also getting out into the world and travelling alone is a very empowering thing to do:
- You’ll remember or discover how strong and resilient you really are.
- You’ll get back in touch with parts of yourself you feel your lost or gave away
- You’ll be able to see what is in naturally in alignment with your authentic values
- You’ll get reconnected to what excites you and it will be easy to know what to do next.
- You’ll have time to grieve and let go and create a clear vision for yourself on what you want in your life ahead.
None of these are hard and fast rules. Instead, they are just suggestions for picking yourself up after a hard fall and getting back on track. Don’t be afraid to get professional help if you ever feel so stressed out that you drink or use drugs too much, can’t handle your daily life, or fall into depression or anxiety.
Breakups happen to almost everyone, they can bring big changes in our lives, so we should pay close attention to them. The good news is that most of the time, the clouds clear out after the terrible rain. In the end, a breakup can help you grow and mature, learn more about yourself, and move on to better times. They can be huge opportunities for inner growth as we learn to navigate life’s transitions with mindfulness and trust, and supportive tools and people.
If you are in the process of closing the door on a past relationship and would like to get clarity on your next chapter, a retreat is the ideal space to rediscover yourself.
How a retreat may help you move on from an old relationship:
- A serene space to reflect on your own feelings and ideas in order to obtain perspective
- Supportive retreat guides who are especially here to hold a transformative space for you
- Explore new cultures and activities that will rekindle your enthusiasm for life
- Spa treatments can help you relax and release stored physical blockages
- Healing sessions with practitioners that can help you experience deep shifts spiritually and physically
- Wholesome and healthy food to rebalance your body and hormones
- Have fun moving to release ‘e-motions’ through yoga, surfing, swimming, cycling, and hiking.
- Enjoy the friendship of other women who want to share, open up, and motivate one another.
- Yoga and meditation can help you release stored emotions and achieve inner peace.
- Cacao Ceremony and Balinese blessing to open your heart and set new intentions for your life
- Personal time in a tranquil setting to give yourself the gift of self-care and reconnection.
Giving yourself the time and space to heal is nurturing gift you can give yourself. Taking a break between chapters gives us a chance to feel reconnected to ourselves, clear about what we want and ready to start over in a way that won’t have you jumping into any new relationships while repeating old patterns from the past that haven’t worked.
We would be delighted to Awaken, Inspire and Celebrate the Goddess in You, so that you experience a retreat that leaves you feeling empowered, clear, confident and energised for your future!
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